Be Still My Beating Heart
Poets have written reams about the way to a woman’s heart. Flowers, candle light dinners, chocolate, diamonds, romantic encounters, etc. Yet, these all pale in comparison to the true way to a woman’s heart: a self-cleaning house!
There is nothing more mind-numbingly boring than housework. Oh, I have friends that take pleasure and pride in keeping their homes spotless and beautiful; and while I like a clean house, the repetitive effort needed to keep it spotless seems pointless to me. While technology produces cutting edge products for the office and entertainment, no serious attention has been given to making housework easier. We have more efficient vacuum cleaners and mops, but one still has to stoop to do either chore; and bathrooms are the worst places to clean in the entire house.
Until now. I’ve fallen in love with the elegant design, the clean look: no dirty tanks to crack, no ugly pedestal with nooks and crannies to catch and hold filth. Ah, the sheer beauty of its multistage self-cleaning regimen that requires I do nothing! No abrasive, smelly cleaners. No ugly brushes, no ring around the collar!
Japan is the land of techno marvels light years ahead of the U.S. and in terms of making life easier for housewives they have outdone themselves with the Washlet, a series of self-cleaning toilets. With a unique sense of style and flair, the Japanese turn an uncomfortable aspect of human life into something pleasurable.
My question is this: Why is the U.S. so far behind in creating elegant, useful and affordable toilets that can clean themselves? We have the technology. We can rebuild them. And advertising would have customers lining up by the droves. Maybe there’s still a bit of chauvinism in the technology field. Maybe women are still enamored with having maids. Maybe Americans haven’t realized that housework is meant to be shared and what makes life easy, also makes life pleasurable.
Meanwhile, I’m saving my dollars and for my next anniversary I’m asking for an international order: my very own self-cleaning toilet!